I Love you

By Raina Naomi Gardner

To have a friend when life gets you down
To have a friend who'll come around
To have a friend when you need someone close
To have a friend when you need them the most
A friend who'll stick by your side
A friend who doesn't care if your wrong or your right
A friend who takes care of you
A friend who'll laugh with you.
When you’re in love it's hard to compare
to the way life used to be
Because when you’re in love
the other person is all you ever see
You purpose and goal totally change
Inch by inch gain by gain
You strive to show how you feel
but not just the words but the actions make it real
To sum it all up
to tell you the truth
all I want to say
is I Love you in every way

Accepted

By Raina Naomi Gardner

To be accepted
That's what I want
But not by just anyone
It use to be
That I was a fool
But I had to learn the Golden Rule
Jesus Loves me
As everyone knows
and my soul no longer has a hole
I use to see
Things black and white
but now I know
It's not just wrong or right.

My Suicide

By Raina Naomi Gardner

You're here with me
yet I feel so alone
a silence in my heart
not a sound or a tone
I feel like crying
I want to die
Why do I have to feel
this way inside
Time drags by
each moment an eternity
noticing all I’ve got
but I feel uncertainty
A storm that is rising
deep in my soul
I fight my composure
To keep control
A stormy sea
inside of me
I feel so lost inside
my suicide.

Undercover Angels

By Raina Naomi Gardner

When the devil lies and steals
he's aware of it
When you feel down and out
they'll come about
Now I’ve learned
it's the small things
That lift you up
towards heaven
A new found friend, a baby's laugh
a little extra money when the money was spent
and children reading undercovers
A call from a friend to say "I care"
an unexpected job or a raise
and people helping one another
Undercover angels, Undercover angels
it may be a smile in a stranger's face
it may be a rainbow at the end of the day
I do believe its true
God sends undercover angels
to help you out.

We 

By Raina Naomi Gardner

You laugh at me you call me names
am I so different or am I to blame
I want to tell you who I am
Fuel for the fire I lit it then ran
Seasons come and seasons go
my personality goes to and fro
I know they are joking but can't they see
the pain that is there inside of me
Do they see or do they ignore
all the martyrs that came before
We try so hard and never fit in
maybe someday we will win
We're the ones who write the plays
we're the ones who count the days
We’re the ones who write the songs
we're the ones who won't play along
Say what you will say what you may
I know my talents I'll find my way.

Mixed Emotions

By Raina Naomi Gardner

Feelings and emotions trying your soul
flowing across you taking their toll.
You hang your head down and lift your head up.
Over and over makes you fed up.
Tears seeping down through invisible holes
Feels like everyone can see your soul.
You should have done this and you should have said that
But you know in your soul you can't take it back
No running now, no hiding at all
Anyone can see the tears as they fall
Falling like rain, yet harder than nails
A pit in your stomach, you feel like you've failed.
Wanting to share, it feels like a fight
When all you want is to make things all right
You want to give up, and you think you might
But you’re not alone, don't give up the fight.

Poetry

      In a time that seems far away from where I am now: I wrote a fair bit of poetry. I have decided to post my poetry here to try and preserve some of my work. It was written before I was ever married or had children.

     I have struggled my whole life with mental illness and physical disabilities. There might be more posts concerning this at a later date when I feel strong enough to share. In the mean time, in regards, to my poetry I will post the first one on this post. Each poem after that will be on it's own blog post.

The new me

By Raina Naomi Gardner

The new me is not hard to see
I smile I laugh, I came to be
You helped me see the inner me
you make me want to climb a tree
I know laughter I know pain
but in the end you remain
You have always been there
you always care
My life my soul in my new me
it’s not really new, just totally free